It's almost quittin time and I am stoked.......
of course I still feel bad for those of you manning the cafe tomorrow.
Remember, try to go to the bathroom on your lunch break and refrain from mixing coffee in the blender....lest N2 thinks it's a smoothie......
Will miss you guys (but not the job necessarily) terribly. *sniff sniff*
One other word of advice.......it's the little (customer induced) mini rage-fits in the bathroom that keep you sane. If you need to throw something-I suggest the peppermints. (Easier to conceal and clean up.....and deny if you are caught throwing...lol)
Wednesday, July 6, 2011
Thank you, Jesus....
ME: Thank you for calling OCD. This is Vic. How may I direct your call?
GUY: Service please.
ME: Did you need an appointment or just to speak with an advisor?
GUY: Yes.
*long silence*
ME: Well, alright then. *pushes what I hope is right button to appointments*
This is why I am mentally throwin' up the bird as I walk away today.
No more phone idiocy.
Amen.
GUY: Service please.
ME: Did you need an appointment or just to speak with an advisor?
GUY: Yes.
*long silence*
ME: Well, alright then. *pushes what I hope is right button to appointments*
This is why I am mentally throwin' up the bird as I walk away today.
No more phone idiocy.
Amen.
Random thoughts:
These 5 Hour Energy ads make it look like making a pot of coffee and drinking a cup to be the hardest tasks in the world. I hate to think what they would do to something a tad more complicated, like driving a car or brain surgery.
* Random thought that I had while staring at the Olive Garden bag from my lunch. Where are the olives? Why are there grapes on their logo and not olives? And also, the only time I saw olive trees in a "garden" were in the Garden of Gethsamene, which leads me to believe that the fine folks at the Olive Garden believe their food to be Christ like.
If anyone in my office ever decides to go postal, I am putting big money on it being a printer related rampage.
There's no such thing as fun for the whole family. ~Jerry Seinfeld
When somebody tells you nothing is impossible, ask him to dribble a football. ~Author Unknown
Lead me not into temptation; I can find the way myself. ~Rita Mae Brown
On a traffic light green means 'go' and yellow means 'yield', but on a banana it's just the opposite. Green means 'hold on,' yellow means 'go ahead,' and red means, 'where the f### did you get that banana at?' -Mitch Hedberg
It amazes me that people will violently demand to be treated like adults, but act like children. -VIC
The secret of life is not caring about the secret.-VIC
* Random thought that I had while staring at the Olive Garden bag from my lunch. Where are the olives? Why are there grapes on their logo and not olives? And also, the only time I saw olive trees in a "garden" were in the Garden of Gethsamene, which leads me to believe that the fine folks at the Olive Garden believe their food to be Christ like.
If anyone in my office ever decides to go postal, I am putting big money on it being a printer related rampage.
There's no such thing as fun for the whole family. ~Jerry Seinfeld
When somebody tells you nothing is impossible, ask him to dribble a football. ~Author Unknown
Lead me not into temptation; I can find the way myself. ~Rita Mae Brown
On a traffic light green means 'go' and yellow means 'yield', but on a banana it's just the opposite. Green means 'hold on,' yellow means 'go ahead,' and red means, 'where the f### did you get that banana at?' -Mitch Hedberg
It amazes me that people will violently demand to be treated like adults, but act like children. -VIC
The secret of life is not caring about the secret.-VIC
Paper jams....epic funny
Step One - Get up from desk after watching coworkers mutter over printer and attempt to understand the cryptic paper jam removal instructions.
Step Two - Sigh heavily, attempting to conceal the smirk that is itching to spread on your face.
Step Three - Ignore paper jam removal instructions.
Step Four - Open tray 1, close tray 1.
Step Five - Open tray 2, close tray two.
Step Six - Turn machine 180 degrees, look in back, turn machine back.
Step Seven - Press the green button.
Step Eight - Bask in the glory of having fixed the printer jam, even though no paper was actually jammed.
Step Nine - Repeat steps one through eight at least once a day.
Seriously, I sometimes think the printer guys have installed some sort of candid camera and trigger paper jam errors by remote just to mess with us.
Step Two - Sigh heavily, attempting to conceal the smirk that is itching to spread on your face.
Step Three - Ignore paper jam removal instructions.
Step Four - Open tray 1, close tray 1.
Step Five - Open tray 2, close tray two.
Step Six - Turn machine 180 degrees, look in back, turn machine back.
Step Seven - Press the green button.
Step Eight - Bask in the glory of having fixed the printer jam, even though no paper was actually jammed.
Step Nine - Repeat steps one through eight at least once a day.
Seriously, I sometimes think the printer guys have installed some sort of candid camera and trigger paper jam errors by remote just to mess with us.
Famous Office Scribe Philosophy
"Apathy is what people develop when they only have one more day of work left." - The Office Scribe
Example A:
Coworker - I need to work later on Thursday because I have someplace to go Wednesday night.
Me - I don't care.
Example 2:
Coworker - Did you see that (((fill in the blank))) is doing a presentation on Friday?
Me - I don't care.
Example III:
Coworker - Rumor has it a giant asteroid is going to plow into the western suburbs towards the end of the week and destroy all our cubicles.
Me - I don't care. (Meanwhile I start boxing my knick knacks just in case...)
I feel like Bradley Cooper in "The Hangover" where he is leaving school and the kid goes to ask him a question and he replies "You don't exist to me".
Example A:
Coworker - I need to work later on Thursday because I have someplace to go Wednesday night.
Me - I don't care.
Example 2:
Coworker - Did you see that (((fill in the blank))) is doing a presentation on Friday?
Me - I don't care.
Example III:
Coworker - Rumor has it a giant asteroid is going to plow into the western suburbs towards the end of the week and destroy all our cubicles.
Me - I don't care. (Meanwhile I start boxing my knick knacks just in case...)
I feel like Bradley Cooper in "The Hangover" where he is leaving school and the kid goes to ask him a question and he replies "You don't exist to me".
I quit!!!!!!!!!
No, seriously. Today is my last day at the Overprivileged Car Dealership. (YAYYY!!!!!)
*ahem*
I mean, ummm......
I'll miss all the customers and stuff so...yeah.
Oh, who am I kidding?
YAYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!
No! More! Cafe!
*ahem*
Sincerely, Vic.
(will seriously miss you guys)
and I promise to blog about new job soon.......
*yay!...beer me*
*ahem*
I mean, ummm......
I'll miss all the customers and stuff so...yeah.
Oh, who am I kidding?
YAYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!
No! More! Cafe!
*ahem*
Sincerely, Vic.
(will seriously miss you guys)
and I promise to blog about new job soon.......
*yay!...beer me*
Friday, July 1, 2011
Ninja Diaries
So it seems that there is a new person making sure someone "man's the cafe' at ALL times."
Yep, that'd be our boss lady....let's call her Ninja number 2.
Everytime someone isn't in the cafe, she tells Penguin.
Well ok, that's cool and all....but what if I was in the restroom?
Or running an errand for Phone week person....or helping loaner person??????
Will it kill the overprivilegeds to make their own darn coffee for once?
I guess Thar's a new sheriff in town......................
And by the way, we don't make smoothies for ourselves.
What you see is coffee blended with ice.
We have to 'decaf' ourselves quite frequently to put up with all the b.s. that we have to put up with........whether you realize what we put up with or not.
Sincerely,
-The Underpaid Cafe' Peon
-The Overprivileged Office
Yep, that'd be our boss lady....let's call her Ninja number 2.
Everytime someone isn't in the cafe, she tells Penguin.
Well ok, that's cool and all....but what if I was in the restroom?
Or running an errand for Phone week person....or helping loaner person??????
Will it kill the overprivilegeds to make their own darn coffee for once?
I guess Thar's a new sheriff in town......................
And by the way, we don't make smoothies for ourselves.
What you see is coffee blended with ice.
We have to 'decaf' ourselves quite frequently to put up with all the b.s. that we have to put up with........whether you realize what we put up with or not.
Sincerely,
-The Underpaid Cafe' Peon
-The Overprivileged Office
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)