Ninja has not appeared in quite some time.
*glancing around and behind back to check for Ninja.....and on ceiling.*
Must be on double alert mode.
*And also buy some anti-Ninja spray*
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
I hate loaner week....some more reasons why
- I can't win for losing. As soon as I pull up an SUV in the loaner line, there is someone who wants a coupe. *J. F. Christmas*
- It's hot outside and I have to go out there and line up cars with sunburn, a gimp leg and people waiting in the office that look at me when I get back like I was out there b.s. ing or something.....and not getting their paperwork ready.
- Ninja is in super super stealth mode today. Appearing in my office more than usual and whatnot.
- If I have to deal with one more advisor thinking that today is the day to try and pick on me cause I'm in groucho mode....................
- During cafe and phone week people's lunch, it's my job to watch cafe. Yay.
- I don't get paid nearly enough to deal with all the people who forget things in loaner cars then two weeks later, wonder why we can't find that particular cell phone charger or garage door opener.
- My office is the entrance for people coming inside and going outside. And for some reason they think I am the Receptionist, Advisor, Salesperson, Valet, Car-wash guy, GM, Dent Wizard person, Windshield Repair person and the flippin state senator.
- "Are you familiar with the smart key?" does not mean "Say you know how to work the smart key, wait ten minutes, then come interrupt me to say you don't know how to work the effin smart key."
Customer Comment Award:
Spotted on a customer comment card:
..."And maybe you should install a 9-hole golf course in the back of your lot. I wouldn't mind killing time by putting green."
Oh, yes, I'm serious.
They really are that overprivileged ...and blatantly unaware that they are such, which adds to the idiocy.
..."And maybe you should install a 9-hole golf course in the back of your lot. I wouldn't mind killing time by putting green."
Oh, yes, I'm serious.
They really are that overprivileged ...and blatantly unaware that they are such, which adds to the idiocy.
Serious (no, really) question of the day
*ahem*
Is there any way we can change from this drowsy horrible music to something normal and not so "Imma get a wire cutter and cut every radio wire in this effin building if I have to hear the musical only version of 'I believe I Can Fly' one more effin time" !?
Saxophones are ringing in my head..................................
I feel like I've been in the mall elevator. ALL DAY.
*ahem*
Is there any way we can change from this drowsy horrible music to something normal and not so "Imma get a wire cutter and cut every radio wire in this effin building if I have to hear the musical only version of 'I believe I Can Fly' one more effin time" !?
Saxophones are ringing in my head..................................
I feel like I've been in the mall elevator. ALL DAY.
*ahem*
Dear __________,
Dear Salesman across the street,
I realize that you are around the age of 65 and that you don't want anyone to know that you don't have any hair. However, a comb-over is no way to put off the inevitable. Especially when the wind is blowing in the opposite direction of your comb-over, causing it to stand straight up in the air like a roosters feathered head thingy. I don't really think your comb-over is fooling anyone. Just. Cut. It.
*ahem*
-Thank you
The Underpaid Receptionist
c/o The Overprivileged Office
I realize that you are around the age of 65 and that you don't want anyone to know that you don't have any hair. However, a comb-over is no way to put off the inevitable. Especially when the wind is blowing in the opposite direction of your comb-over, causing it to stand straight up in the air like a roosters feathered head thingy. I don't really think your comb-over is fooling anyone. Just. Cut. It.
*ahem*
-Thank you
The Underpaid Receptionist
c/o The Overprivileged Office
Ninja Diaries
The Ninja is at it again..............
Popping up in places and appearing out of thin air and the like.
Today he waited til 10:42 a.m. to appear in the loaner car office door.
NINJA: Good Mornin' Vic!
*Does he not realize I am in groucho mode today?*
ME: Mornin' Ninja.
Okay so I didn't really call him "Ninja", but one day it's gonna accidentally slip out and that'll be bad. Mucho.
...Then, I glance at the computer for like a second. I swear. No more than a second and I look up. He is already in cafe. Creepy.
I swear he must have some super power that detects when people are watching him and when they aren't so he knows when it's okay to go into super stealth mode and such.
I may not be able to prove he's a ninja......but I just KNOW. Plus, he's also the appropriate height. Super small stealthy Ninja.
So, um , seriously..... Is this a joke on Vic? Does he do this stance everytime I turn my back? Am I the only one who doesn't know? ....guys? anyone?
Popping up in places and appearing out of thin air and the like.
Today he waited til 10:42 a.m. to appear in the loaner car office door.
NINJA: Good Mornin' Vic!
*Does he not realize I am in groucho mode today?*
ME: Mornin' Ninja.
Okay so I didn't really call him "Ninja", but one day it's gonna accidentally slip out and that'll be bad. Mucho.
...Then, I glance at the computer for like a second. I swear. No more than a second and I look up. He is already in cafe. Creepy.
I swear he must have some super power that detects when people are watching him and when they aren't so he knows when it's okay to go into super stealth mode and such.
I may not be able to prove he's a ninja......but I just KNOW. Plus, he's also the appropriate height. Super small stealthy Ninja.
Is there a "Server" sign on my head?
If one more person hands me their half empty cup of coffee like I am a server in a restaurant, I am going to scream.
There is a garbage can literally under your nose if you would just look. Overprivileged idiots.
And WHY do you hand me a cup of coffee to throw away and not say a word?????
Thank you? maybe?
Geez, I know I work here, but this is a car dealership. Not a full service bar. Don't just hand me your empty drink cup like it's my job to go around and pick up your trash all day.
It's not even cafe week for me so it shouldn't even come close to looking like that is my job.
J.F. Christmas. Overprivileged, spoiled idiots........................and they don't even know it.
*re-remind ninja about company paid anger therapy*
*Also, don't forget the stress squeezy ball thingy*
There is a garbage can literally under your nose if you would just look. Overprivileged idiots.
And WHY do you hand me a cup of coffee to throw away and not say a word?????
Thank you? maybe?
Geez, I know I work here, but this is a car dealership. Not a full service bar. Don't just hand me your empty drink cup like it's my job to go around and pick up your trash all day.
It's not even cafe week for me so it shouldn't even come close to looking like that is my job.
J.F. Christmas. Overprivileged, spoiled idiots........................and they don't even know it.
*re-remind ninja about company paid anger therapy*
*Also, don't forget the stress squeezy ball thingy*
Saturday, May 28, 2011
Awesome-O
Spotted while waiting by restrooms today:
An old man pulling out a wedgie while walking into restroom(in front of super hot girl), then winking and whistling at super hot girl when he came out.
Total Awesome-o sir.
Dude that's the most major Epic Fail I have ever had the pleasure of seeing.
Total awesome-o
"Hey sweet thing...Can I buy you a fish sandwich?"
An old man pulling out a wedgie while walking into restroom(in front of super hot girl), then winking and whistling at super hot girl when he came out.
Total Awesome-o sir.
Dude that's the most major Epic Fail I have ever had the pleasure of seeing.
Total awesome-o
Dear Salesmen
Dear Salesmen,
*ahem*
I realize that part of my job on phone week is knowing where you are at during business hours. However, since I have already given this speech to the advisors, I must tell you as well. I DO NOT CARE if you have to "go pee". Again, I understand that I have to know where you are, incase a customer is looking for you. But unless you are going across the street to pee because they have "prettier bathrooms", then I promise I will page you over the intercom if I cannot find you in the event a customer is looking for you. I will not tell a customer you are not here if you stepped away from your desk for three minutes. You do NOT have to tell me you are peeing. I don't care. *ahem*
Thank you- The Underpaid Receptionist
c/o The Overprivileged Office
*ahem*
I realize that part of my job on phone week is knowing where you are at during business hours. However, since I have already given this speech to the advisors, I must tell you as well. I DO NOT CARE if you have to "go pee". Again, I understand that I have to know where you are, incase a customer is looking for you. But unless you are going across the street to pee because they have "prettier bathrooms", then I promise I will page you over the intercom if I cannot find you in the event a customer is looking for you. I will not tell a customer you are not here if you stepped away from your desk for three minutes. You do NOT have to tell me you are peeing. I don't care. *ahem*
Thank you- The Underpaid Receptionist
c/o The Overprivileged Office
The System
I must paraphrase a statement I read recently:
*ahem*
Why do customers think we keep everything in "The System"?
This is not the Matrix.
I can not quantam jump and tell you what color your shoes were three Thursdays ago when you were in here last.
I can not see what kind of cat you put in your loaner car last year.
I don't know what time your appointment was on the oil change at the dealership across the street.
And yet they ask, "can you just look it up in your system?"
Uh, no, lady. I can't.
I feel like this shouldn't even have to be a topic of conversation.
I could understand if these were reasonable requests like
"What kind of car do I drive cause I am too lazy to go look for myself."
You know, things we actually keep in our computer files.
"What time is my appointment tomorrow?"....That I CAN look up.
But I am VERY sorry, sir. I can not tell you if you had a strawberry smoothie or raspberry last time you were in here. Even if I could look it up, Why does it matter?
*double sigh*
*sigh* .........But this is where I ended up last time I tried to dive into "the system" so I'm not gonna try it again........Look up your own information. Please.
*ahem*
Why do customers think we keep everything in "The System"?
This is not the Matrix.
I can not quantam jump and tell you what color your shoes were three Thursdays ago when you were in here last.
I can not see what kind of cat you put in your loaner car last year.
I don't know what time your appointment was on the oil change at the dealership across the street.
And yet they ask, "can you just look it up in your system?"
Uh, no, lady. I can't.
I feel like this shouldn't even have to be a topic of conversation.
I could understand if these were reasonable requests like
"What kind of car do I drive cause I am too lazy to go look for myself."
You know, things we actually keep in our computer files.
"What time is my appointment tomorrow?"....That I CAN look up.
But I am VERY sorry, sir. I can not tell you if you had a strawberry smoothie or raspberry last time you were in here. Even if I could look it up, Why does it matter?
*double sigh*
I tried to look in the system for you ma'am.
Customer Comment Award
C: Do you have a parts department?
Me: Yes, sir. It's right around that corner.
C: Do you sell (brand name of car) parts?
Me: Yes, sir. This is (OCD). We sell parts for the cars we distribute.
C: I was just checking to make sure I wasn't going to get there and it be a different kind of car part that you sell.
*In a "redblue" dealership we are going to sell car parts, but not "redblue" ones. Yes, that's a great marketing strategy. J.F. Christmas Beer me.*
Me: Yes, sir. It's right around that corner.
C: Do you sell (brand name of car) parts?
Me: Yes, sir. This is (OCD). We sell parts for the cars we distribute.
C: I was just checking to make sure I wasn't going to get there and it be a different kind of car part that you sell.
*In a "redblue" dealership we are going to sell car parts, but not "redblue" ones. Yes, that's a great marketing strategy. J.F. Christmas Beer me.*
Fridays tale of Woe
First this guy calls and says he emailed to inquire about a car and they called him back and he missed the call but he doesn't know who it was.
I politely say "Sir, that could be a number of people. Do you happen to know what department it was?"
"BG: (in a child-like mocking tone) "Sir, that could be a number of people....blah blah yak yak.
Look, little girl, I just need to speak to who I spoke with.
*really?*
ME: Who was it that you spoke with?
*Does he really think treating me like dirt will get him anywhere?*
BG: I am inquiring about spending 22,000 dollars. Do you understand that? 22,000 dollars. So I don't have time for this @%*$.
*J.F.Christmas*
*So I hung up.*
First of all, I really don't care if you spend 22,000 dollars here. That's not really alot of money in comparison to how much people spend in here. So if you think that's gonna shoot you to the top of my list, you're wrong. Secondly, if you don't know who the eff you need to talk to then how the J. F. Christmas am I supposed to transfer you to them. Thirdly, I am 26 years old. I realize that doesn't make me old, but I am not a little girl.
Go Eff yourself, you old fart. Eff yourself.
..................Thirty minutes later..........................
ME: Thank you for calling (OCD). This is Vic. How may I direct your call?
DA: I was calling to inquire if you have any Blue Cross offices in Chicago. I'm from Chicago. This was the only number I could find.
ME: Ma'am, this is a car dealership in Alabama. Not an insurance company. This is Overprivileged Car Dealership.
DA: Well, do you have any offices in Chicago? For Blue Cross?
ME: Ma'am this is OVERPRIVILEGED CAR DEALERSHIP. Not Blue Cross.
DA: DO YOU have any Blue Cross offices in Chicago?
ME: Ma'am I really don't think you have the correct phone number.
DA: (to someone in background) Ugh, these people on the phone are such dumb a@&es.
*clearly, I am the dumb a##*
*Sonofamotherflippin jose flippin christmas you stupid beeotch!!!!!!!!!!!!!*
*While I break things with the phone reciever*
*Note to self: MUST tell ninja that company paid anger management is a good idea.*
*And also get one of those squeezy stress ball thingys.*
*Dear sweet goodness I need some serious beer time.*
*Sigh*
I politely say "Sir, that could be a number of people. Do you happen to know what department it was?"
"BG: (in a child-like mocking tone) "Sir, that could be a number of people....blah blah yak yak.
Look, little girl, I just need to speak to who I spoke with.
*really?*
ME: Who was it that you spoke with?
*Does he really think treating me like dirt will get him anywhere?*
BG: I am inquiring about spending 22,000 dollars. Do you understand that? 22,000 dollars. So I don't have time for this @%*$.
*J.F.Christmas*
*So I hung up.*
First of all, I really don't care if you spend 22,000 dollars here. That's not really alot of money in comparison to how much people spend in here. So if you think that's gonna shoot you to the top of my list, you're wrong. Secondly, if you don't know who the eff you need to talk to then how the J. F. Christmas am I supposed to transfer you to them. Thirdly, I am 26 years old. I realize that doesn't make me old, but I am not a little girl.
Go Eff yourself, you old fart. Eff yourself.
..................Thirty minutes later..........................
ME: Thank you for calling (OCD). This is Vic. How may I direct your call?
DA: I was calling to inquire if you have any Blue Cross offices in Chicago. I'm from Chicago. This was the only number I could find.
ME: Ma'am, this is a car dealership in Alabama. Not an insurance company. This is Overprivileged Car Dealership.
DA: Well, do you have any offices in Chicago? For Blue Cross?
ME: Ma'am this is OVERPRIVILEGED CAR DEALERSHIP. Not Blue Cross.
DA: DO YOU have any Blue Cross offices in Chicago?
ME: Ma'am I really don't think you have the correct phone number.
DA: (to someone in background) Ugh, these people on the phone are such dumb a@&es.
*clearly, I am the dumb a##*
*Sonofamotherflippin jose flippin christmas you stupid beeotch!!!!!!!!!!!!!*
*While I break things with the phone reciever*
*Note to self: MUST tell ninja that company paid anger management is a good idea.*
*And also get one of those squeezy stress ball thingys.*
*Dear sweet goodness I need some serious beer time.*
*Sigh*
Serious Question of the Day
Why do we always have the same thing for lunch every time I work a Saturday? Do they do this as a little joke on me? I'm serious.
Same thing.
Five working Saturdays in a row.
Does this happen to anyone else?
Really?
I mean, Yeah, it's funny, but dude I'm tired of pasta.
GAH.
*beer me*
Same thing.
Five working Saturdays in a row.
Does this happen to anyone else?
Really?
I mean, Yeah, it's funny, but dude I'm tired of pasta.
GAH.
*beer me*
The Ninja is Back
So Ninja went on vacation for a week
And for a week I was relaxed and not on high alert.
Not that I had a reason to be but he makes me nervous, so knowing that he wasn't there was ....well.....nice.
But now he's back and I feel like I should be on double alert.
He is seriously, super stealthy and way quiet.
You NEVER hear him coming. He's just there all of a sudden. Three inches from your face.
Like, I don't even pick up my phone to glance at the time because I'm deathly afraid he will appear and think I am texting or something. Yeah, it's that bad.
It's SCARY.
And for a week I was relaxed and not on high alert.
Not that I had a reason to be but he makes me nervous, so knowing that he wasn't there was ....well.....nice.
But now he's back and I feel like I should be on double alert.
He is seriously, super stealthy and way quiet.
You NEVER hear him coming. He's just there all of a sudden. Three inches from your face.
Like, I don't even pick up my phone to glance at the time because I'm deathly afraid he will appear and think I am texting or something. Yeah, it's that bad.
It's SCARY.
Thursday, May 19, 2011
I don't know.....
ME: Thank you for calling (OCD) this is Vic. How may I direct your call?
CL: Yes ma'am, this is Crazy Lady. Can you tell me what kind of car I drive?
*uh, what?*
*five second pause*
ME: I'm sorry?
CL: Yes, can you look up in your "system" and see what kind of car I drive?
(pause scene)
Okay:
1: You drive the flippin thing so you should know what it is.
2: Are you too lazy to walk into your garage and look?
3: For a second there I really thought you thought I was psychic.
4: I'll tell you what kind of car you drive if you can tell me what color my socks are today. This is not the Psychic Network, lady. I mean seriously.
5: Yeah, we can do that, but why is there a need for it? I mean, really?
6: Why does everyone assume that we keep everything in "the system"?
*Lady, I swear to all things holy if you don't go to your garage and look for yourself.................argh!!!!*
And now I have seven calls holding because I couldn't get her off the phone. Happy flippin Thursday, everyone.
CL: Yes ma'am, this is Crazy Lady. Can you tell me what kind of car I drive?
*uh, what?*
*five second pause*
ME: I'm sorry?
CL: Yes, can you look up in your "system" and see what kind of car I drive?
(pause scene)
Okay:
1: You drive the flippin thing so you should know what it is.
2: Are you too lazy to walk into your garage and look?
3: For a second there I really thought you thought I was psychic.
4: I'll tell you what kind of car you drive if you can tell me what color my socks are today. This is not the Psychic Network, lady. I mean seriously.
5: Yeah, we can do that, but why is there a need for it? I mean, really?
6: Why does everyone assume that we keep everything in "the system"?
*Lady, I swear to all things holy if you don't go to your garage and look for yourself.................argh!!!!*
And now I have seven calls holding because I couldn't get her off the phone. Happy flippin Thursday, everyone.
And then there was one.
Most awesome-o gross thing I have ever seen an old lady do.
Just imagine you are working cafe and a crowd of people are gathered 'round the coffee condiments.
Old lady (purple eyebrows and all) gets in chair then leans over to get something out of her bag.
Yep. That's right.
Pfffrrrrttttttttttt.
She farted.
So loud that three people turned to look at her.
She stared back, either oblivious to the situation or acting like she had no idea she just let a ginormous fart rip.
They all left. *snicker*
You got rid of three people for me and you didn't even want to chat with me. (which I hate chatting with people I don't know.)
So thanks!
Total AWESOME-O lady. Totally awesome-o.
Just imagine you are working cafe and a crowd of people are gathered 'round the coffee condiments.
Old lady (purple eyebrows and all) gets in chair then leans over to get something out of her bag.
Yep. That's right.
Pfffrrrrttttttttttt.
She farted.
So loud that three people turned to look at her.
She stared back, either oblivious to the situation or acting like she had no idea she just let a ginormous fart rip.
They all left. *snicker*
You got rid of three people for me and you didn't even want to chat with me. (which I hate chatting with people I don't know.)
So thanks!
Total AWESOME-O lady. Totally awesome-o.
Oh,yes. Really
Loaners is a one of a kind job. Seriously.
The other day (I forgot to tell you guys)
Somebody puked in a loaner and didn't clean it up.
Yeah, that's right.
They let it dry for four days. 4 days!!
A few things cross my mind.
How lazy and disgusting are you that you'd rather ride around in a car that smells like vomit than clean it up yourself? For 4 days?!!!? Really?
Gross.
Did you really expect that we wouldn't make a fuss over something like that?
Who cleans the vomit out of your own car? The thirty pound dog probably gets to it before you do anyway, right?
Ewwwee again.
What exactly did you eat? Seriously? No, really, I have never seen that many colors in puke before. Ever.
*shudder*
The other day (I forgot to tell you guys)
Somebody puked in a loaner and didn't clean it up.
Yeah, that's right.
They let it dry for four days. 4 days!!
A few things cross my mind.
How lazy and disgusting are you that you'd rather ride around in a car that smells like vomit than clean it up yourself? For 4 days?!!!? Really?
Gross.
Did you really expect that we wouldn't make a fuss over something like that?
Who cleans the vomit out of your own car? The thirty pound dog probably gets to it before you do anyway, right?
Ewwwee again.
What exactly did you eat? Seriously? No, really, I have never seen that many colors in puke before. Ever.
*shudder*
Yes, There is a reason.
ME: Ok sir. I just need you to sign a loaner agreement form.
SM: Oh, there's no reason for that. I wont wreck the car.
*huh?*
*Ok you overprivileged idiot. Let me explain something. For one thing they aren't called "on purposes". They are called accidents. Because you weren't expecting them. If I have to tell one more of you way-to-short-shorts old men to sign the flippin paper and you make a big deal over it then I'll just let you wait on your car to get done.
All you're gonna do anyway is go to the mall and walk your thirty pound dog around in there too.
By the way, there is a clause in our agreement that says you can't have animals in the car.......But it's not like you would listen.
You'd just put your dog in the car anyway because people are supposed to do everything your way, huh?
Jose flippin Christmas, I love my job.*
SM: Oh, there's no reason for that. I wont wreck the car.
*huh?*
*Ok you overprivileged idiot. Let me explain something. For one thing they aren't called "on purposes". They are called accidents. Because you weren't expecting them. If I have to tell one more of you way-to-short-shorts old men to sign the flippin paper and you make a big deal over it then I'll just let you wait on your car to get done.
All you're gonna do anyway is go to the mall and walk your thirty pound dog around in there too.
By the way, there is a clause in our agreement that says you can't have animals in the car.......But it's not like you would listen.
You'd just put your dog in the car anyway because people are supposed to do everything your way, huh?
Jose flippin Christmas, I love my job.*
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
dagommit
WHO THE EFF decided that WHITE effin shirts were a good idea this year?
I look like I spend 90% of my time spilling coffee and cleaning ashtrays.
Go eff yourself shirt picker outer. Eff yourself.
I look like I spend 90% of my time spilling coffee and cleaning ashtrays.
Go eff yourself shirt picker outer. Eff yourself.
I hate Cafe week...and this is why.
- I hate the 7a.m. rush of people needing coffee faster than I can make it.
- Twenty percent of my customers can't speak English.
THEM: Yes, Thank you.
ME: Creamer?
THEM: Yes, thank you.
ME: Sugar?
THEM: Yes, thank you.
ME: Drano?
THEM: Yes, thank you.
*sigh*
3. No adult can pick up their own trash and walk three steps to the trashcan. But they want to make sure you can stop what you're doing, walk over to them, take the trash out of their hand and walk fifteen steps to the effin trashcan.
4. There are crazy people who wont leave you alone. And you are stuck there. Unless the phone week person has to pee.
5. I have to re-stock that motherflippin bowl o' snacks like seven times a day beacuse the rich people are secretly bums.
6. If I have to hear one more lady talk about how she works so hard going grocery shopping and playing Gin with the 'ladies' that she needs a break, I am going to pick up the snack bowl and break it over her little way too bright pink lipstick, purple eyebrowed face.
7. And today especially....I got the grand pleasure of listening to one of our favorite customers gripe about how she had been waiting since 7 o'clock and it just wasn't right to make her wait. It was 7:10. Yeah, welcome to my world.
*beer me*
*sigh*
Dude, really?
If you are going to bring beer, you better effin tell me it's there.
Have I not been specifically announcing to you that I continuously need a beer?
*Beer me*???
I'm not playin, sir.
I will run you over with my big @&* truck.
Then take your effin beer.
Bud Light preferably.
You know who you are...................
Have I not been specifically announcing to you that I continuously need a beer?
*Beer me*???
I'm not playin, sir.
I will run you over with my big @&* truck.
Then take your effin beer.
Bud Light preferably.
You know who you are...................
Serious (no, really) question of the day
If we are going to leave windows down on cars in the dealership why don't we just leave the cars unlocked? That way I don't have to hear a car alarm go off every day...right beside my ear.
Cause you know some idiot will think...oh I'll just unlock it from the inside.
*Honk Hooonk Hooonk Hooonk (fifteen minute repeated sucession)*
*yeah*
Cause you know some idiot will think...oh I'll just unlock it from the inside.
*Honk Hooonk Hooonk Hooonk (fifteen minute repeated sucession)*
*yeah*
Spotted while at Cafe today
A lady grabbing EVERY SINGLE tootsie roll in the candy jar.
Yes, every single one.
*Again. You mean you'll pay 60,000 for a car but you can't afford a bag of tootsie rolls from effin Walmart. Flippin Christmas, lady. Overprivileged, hot pink leotard wearing idiot.*
Yes, every single one.
*Again. You mean you'll pay 60,000 for a car but you can't afford a bag of tootsie rolls from effin Walmart. Flippin Christmas, lady. Overprivileged, hot pink leotard wearing idiot.*
Customer Conversation Award:
MAN: I don't understand why we have to sign a waiver saying we will pay for any damages (on the loaner) if we wreck it.
GIRL20S: Uh YEAH, it's not even my car. It's theirs. Duh.
*Oh I bet you graduated with honors. Didn't you, sweetie?*
*beer me, beer me, beer me*
GIRL20S: Uh YEAH, it's not even my car. It's theirs. Duh.
*Oh I bet you graduated with honors. Didn't you, sweetie?*
*beer me, beer me, beer me*
I quit
Found 3rd gray hair of my life today.
INTERNALLY: sonofamotherflippin....ah jose flippin christmas man.argh!!!!!!! It must be this place. Gray hair didn't start appearing until this job. Must decrease stress level at work. (ten second pause)
I quit.
Ah, who am I effin kidding.
See you guys tomorrow.
INTERNALLY: sonofamotherflippin....ah jose flippin christmas man.argh!!!!!!! It must be this place. Gray hair didn't start appearing until this job. Must decrease stress level at work. (ten second pause)
I quit.
Ah, who am I effin kidding.
See you guys tomorrow.
I really need a raise
Ok so today my boss came in (not Ninja...the other one) and my pants leg somehow became entangled in my chair.
Because it's been walked on until its full of little miniscule holes and such.
ME: Boss, I need a raise so I can buy new pants.
*okay, let me rephrase. I am so flippin poor right now that I can't afford to go buy new pants to wear to work unless I get a raise.*
Boss ignores me completely.
It's like I spend 90% of my time talking to myself.
VIC: (points to mouth) Is it on?
*sigh*
*Don't expect me to dress up for halloween this year, punk. You can't afford my new pants? I can't afford your company good spirited halloween thingy. I have no idea how that makes me one up...but it does. Oh, it sooo totally does.*
Because it's been walked on until its full of little miniscule holes and such.
ME: Boss, I need a raise so I can buy new pants.
*okay, let me rephrase. I am so flippin poor right now that I can't afford to go buy new pants to wear to work unless I get a raise.*
Boss ignores me completely.
It's like I spend 90% of my time talking to myself.
VIC: (points to mouth) Is it on?
*sigh*
*Don't expect me to dress up for halloween this year, punk. You can't afford my new pants? I can't afford your company good spirited halloween thingy. I have no idea how that makes me one up...but it does. Oh, it sooo totally does.*
I am old. It's offical.
Yesterday in loaners, an old guy winked at me.
Like, for real winked at me.
Ewwwweeee......*shudder*
And in a typical Clueless Cher moment I said ........"as if."
Wow, you know you're old when you use vernacular that existed twenty years ago and is no longer in style.
Epic fail.
Like, for real winked at me.
Ewwwweeee......*shudder*
And in a typical Clueless Cher moment I said ........"as if."
Wow, you know you're old when you use vernacular that existed twenty years ago and is no longer in style.
Epic fail.
Saturday, May 14, 2011
Let me explain something. I have to keep up with all the cars in loaners. So if the computer says I'm supposed to have a car and I don't, then I have to find it before I leave.
That means (normally) spending two hours tracking down a key that some employee has taken and not notified me of on the Customer Car Check Out sheet.
Thanks alot guys.
I've had to do this every day for a week.
In three weeks I am in loaners again.
I swear to all that is holy. The next person I catch with a key that hasn't told me about it...............
I'll tell the Ninja. And he will appear....right in front of you. I. Swear. It.
That means (normally) spending two hours tracking down a key that some employee has taken and not notified me of on the Customer Car Check Out sheet.
Thanks alot guys.
I've had to do this every day for a week.
In three weeks I am in loaners again.
I swear to all that is holy. The next person I catch with a key that hasn't told me about it...............
I'll tell the Ninja. And he will appear....right in front of you. I. Swear. It.
Holy Crap!!
okay, sooo.... I'm really not trying to be mean. But Lady....geez.
If you are going to pencil in eyebrows, let's not overdo it, ok?
You look like chewbacca. On a bad day. And purple is NOT a natural color.
Thank you- The Underpaid Receptionist
c/o The Overprivileged Office
If you are going to pencil in eyebrows, let's not overdo it, ok?
You look like chewbacca. On a bad day. And purple is NOT a natural color.
Thank you- The Underpaid Receptionist
c/o The Overprivileged Office
Wednesday, May 11, 2011
Best Customer Ticket EVER
So when the overprivileged people bring their cars in for service the valets (yes, valets) take their information, keys and write down the mileage on the car before giving the information to the advisor. The customer said he didn't trust the valet with the key. (really?)
keep in mind that the valet has to have the key before getting the mileage..........
Name: Dr. so and so
Time: 12:05
VIN:
MODEL:
COLOR: TAG#
Mileage: *!# hole wouldn't give me the key
*baaahahahahahahahahahhahaaaaaa*
I believe there were some words exchanged after the*!#hole *ahem* customer saw what the valet had written.
Best. Ticket. Ever.
keep in mind that the valet has to have the key before getting the mileage..........
Name: Dr. so and so
Time: 12:05
VIN:
MODEL:
COLOR: TAG#
Mileage: *!# hole wouldn't give me the key
*baaahahahahahahahahahhahaaaaaa*
I believe there were some words exchanged after the
Best. Ticket. Ever.
Serious (No, really) question of the day.
Ok. I love animals. Really, I do.
But why are these overprivileged idiots bringing their thirty pound dogs into a car dealership?
Not blind. check
No other physical ailments. check.
Oh, they just want to take their dogs everywhere because they have nothing better to do. Gotcha.
But why are these overprivileged idiots bringing their thirty pound dogs into a car dealership?
Not blind. check
No other physical ailments. check.
Oh, they just want to take their dogs everywhere because they have nothing better to do. Gotcha.
Best Customer Comment Award:
While walking a man out to his loaner car:
MAN: So, did I get everything out of my car?
While looking at me.
I start to realize he actually believes I am psychic.
MAN: Well? Did I get everything I needed out of my car?
*Sigh* *How do you even respond to that?*
*sonofamotherflippin...................aaaaahhhhhhhhh*
I don't know if you did or not you crazy overprivileged lunatic.
So now not only am I beneath you. I am now supposed to be a psychic. I don't know what's in your car, what you need out of your car, what you have gotten out of your car already or anything else related to what's in YOUR car!!!
NOTE TO BOSS: Don't forget. Add "psychic" to job description posted on the website.
*beer me*
MAN: So, did I get everything out of my car?
While looking at me.
I start to realize he actually believes I am psychic.
MAN: Well? Did I get everything I needed out of my car?
*Sigh* *How do you even respond to that?*
*sonofamotherflippin...................aaaaahhhhhhhhh*
I don't know if you did or not you crazy overprivileged lunatic.
So now not only am I beneath you. I am now supposed to be a psychic. I don't know what's in your car, what you need out of your car, what you have gotten out of your car already or anything else related to what's in YOUR car!!!
NOTE TO BOSS: Don't forget. Add "psychic" to job description posted on the website.
*beer me*
Best argument in my office EVER
The advisors fight over who's turn it is to refill the paper in the printer. All I hear all day long is things like:
-I refilled it last time!
-I'm busy with a customer
-If I have to do it one more time today, I'm going home!!
But today the scene in my office went a lil something like this:
A1: I told you to refill it like 20 minutes ago and you just sat in your office so I refilled it. You are refilling it next time.
A2: I came in here to refill it but there was paper already in it.
A1: YEAH, that's cause I used my emergency stash of paper. I won't refill it again today......
*pause scene*
Baaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!
Man, you have an emergency stash of paper??
In case of drowning...grab the paper
Fire? No problem. We've got paper for that
Choking? .........paper
I understand your job requires the use of paper. But I really wouldn't tell anyone I had an emergency paper stash.
*baaahahahahahahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa*
*ahem*
-I refilled it last time!
-I'm busy with a customer
-If I have to do it one more time today, I'm going home!!
But today the scene in my office went a lil something like this:
A1: I told you to refill it like 20 minutes ago and you just sat in your office so I refilled it. You are refilling it next time.
A2: I came in here to refill it but there was paper already in it.
A1: YEAH, that's cause I used my emergency stash of paper. I won't refill it again today......
*pause scene*
Baaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!
Man, you have an emergency stash of paper??
In case of drowning...grab the paper
Fire? No problem. We've got paper for that
Choking? .........paper
I understand your job requires the use of paper. But I really wouldn't tell anyone I had an emergency paper stash.
*baaahahahahahahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa*
*ahem*
Am I missing something?
Is there a sign on my head that says COMPLAIN HERE?
No, Seriously? Is there?
That's the 8th time today someone in the office has come into MY office to complain about someone else.
*sigh*
Why don't we just start a chain letter then everyone can add their complaints then pass it along?
Can we install mute buttons on people. I'm writing the government for a grant petition. You think I'm kidding......................
No, Seriously? Is there?
That's the 8th time today someone in the office has come into MY office to complain about someone else.
*sigh*
Why don't we just start a chain letter then everyone can add their complaints then pass it along?
Can we install mute buttons on people. I'm writing the government for a grant petition. You think I'm kidding......................
VIC: (points to mouth) Is it on??
Ok. The Loaner agreement that customers have to sign has two places for a signature and one place for initals.
I clearly state (and POINT) sign here and here....then inital here.
Customer waits three seconds than says..."Where do I need to sign??"
*sonofamotherflipppin....oooohhhhh holy flippin jose christmas man!!!*
And it happens atleast 15 times a day.
*I'm thinking about becoming an alcoholic....beer me*
I clearly state (and POINT) sign here and here....then inital here.
Customer waits three seconds than says..."Where do I need to sign??"
*sonofamotherflipppin....oooohhhhh holy flippin jose christmas man!!!*
And it happens atleast 15 times a day.
*I'm thinking about becoming an alcoholic....beer me*
Yes, I was staring.
okay ladies, here's a small tip for you.
*sigh*
I feel like I shouldn't even have to say it but here goes....
*ahem*
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT wear a lace see-through shirt if you are not going to wear a bra and expect everyone not to notice. Flippin Christmas, lady.
I was putting you in your loaner car and the darn thing kept on trying to pop out of the jacket. I wanted to reach in there and put it away FOR you.
I really feel like this shouldn't even have to be a topic of conversation.
And if you need ways to divert attention from your bad hair....find another way. Seriously.
*sigh*
*beer me*
*sigh*
I feel like I shouldn't even have to say it but here goes....
*ahem*
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT wear a lace see-through shirt if you are not going to wear a bra and expect everyone not to notice. Flippin Christmas, lady.
I was putting you in your loaner car and the darn thing kept on trying to pop out of the jacket. I wanted to reach in there and put it away FOR you.
I really feel like this shouldn't even have to be a topic of conversation.
And if you need ways to divert attention from your bad hair....find another way. Seriously.
*sigh*
*beer me*
Monday, May 9, 2011
Dear Specific Advisor
Dear specific Advisor,
*sigh*
I REALLY DON"T KNOW why the printer/copier will not "behave appropriately". If I knew, I would fix it so you would quit running your mouth at me about it and leave my office.
*beer me*
-The Underpaid Receptionist
c/o The Overprivileged Office
*sigh*
I REALLY DON"T KNOW why the printer/copier will not "behave appropriately". If I knew, I would fix it so you would quit running your mouth at me about it and leave my office.
*beer me*
-The Underpaid Receptionist
c/o The Overprivileged Office
Work paid Counseling
I vote we also have work paid counseling. Why?
Because I have considered quitting atleast seven times today.
Well, that's pretty normal for me, but what I mean is, it was either quit or beat someone.
So what did I do?
NO, I didn't quit. Who would want to leave this adorable job? Yeah, I just shut my mouth, kicked the trashcan (tried to kick the trashcan) then missed and hit the desk leg. In sandals. Ow.
Now my flippin toe hurts and I am ready to spit on the next person who asks for a SUV instead of a coupe.
Don't think I wont.
Ok. I really wont but I'd like to.
That's exactly why we should have company paid counseling.
For angry people like me.
Because I have considered quitting atleast seven times today.
Well, that's pretty normal for me, but what I mean is, it was either quit or beat someone.
So what did I do?
NO, I didn't quit. Who would want to leave this adorable job? Yeah, I just shut my mouth, kicked the trashcan (tried to kick the trashcan) then missed and hit the desk leg. In sandals. Ow.
Now my flippin toe hurts and I am ready to spit on the next person who asks for a SUV instead of a coupe.
Don't think I wont.
Ok. I really wont but I'd like to.
That's exactly why we should have company paid counseling.
For angry people like me.
Ninja strikes again
Okay, I offically vote we install tracking devices on the bosses. No, seriously. I am tired of the ninja appearing from nowhere all the time. It has happened twice today already. I'm not doing anything wrong. He just makes me think that HE thinks I'm doing something wrong. Which makes me nervous, which makes it look like I'm doing something wrong. I was standing in the cafe drinking a soda (that I brought from home. But I know he thinks I stole it. Dagomit flippin Christmas.) Just stop it man. Just. Stop. It.
You shall NOT steal from cafe!!
When I say Dead...I mean Dead
Dear Service Advisors,
I realize that my office is located conveniently as a hang out spot. However, if there is a customer in there with me, please do not talk over me while I am trying to talk to the customer. Also, it really pisses me off when you decide to tell a customer they don't have to return the car with gas in it. Then they look at me like I'M the retard. Furthermore, I don't care about the things you do. I'E. when you tell me that the sweetest lady in the world is in your office so I "should be real nice and get her the loaner car she wants." Jose flippin Christmas people! I just want her out of my office. The next person that complains about what car they recieve will be ordered dead by royal decree.....I swear it.
On another note, I also do not care when you are going to pee. I do not think that is pertinent information to my job. Don't know why you guys tell me these things...really.......
-The Underpaid Receptionist
c/o The Overprivileged Office
I realize that my office is located conveniently as a hang out spot. However, if there is a customer in there with me, please do not talk over me while I am trying to talk to the customer. Also, it really pisses me off when you decide to tell a customer they don't have to return the car with gas in it. Then they look at me like I'M the retard. Furthermore, I don't care about the things you do. I'E. when you tell me that the sweetest lady in the world is in your office so I "should be real nice and get her the loaner car she wants." Jose flippin Christmas people! I just want her out of my office. The next person that complains about what car they recieve will be ordered dead by royal decree.....I swear it.
On another note, I also do not care when you are going to pee. I do not think that is pertinent information to my job. Don't know why you guys tell me these things...really.......
-The Underpaid Receptionist
c/o The Overprivileged Office
I have how many appointments today!?
So it's Loaners this week and dear flippin Christmas I have already done 35 appointments in 4 hours. Geez. That includes typing up paperwork, getting customer to sign it, customer arguing with you on returning car with 1/4 tank of gas, taking them out to car, checking for damage, making sure they know how to operate the darn thing and on a bad day...going to line up more cars and do it all over again.
I've done that 35 times today already.
Yay.
Gotta love Loaners.
Better than phone week though.
I guess theres a little happy left in my manic Monday.
I've done that 35 times today already.
Yay.
Gotta love Loaners.
Better than phone week though.
I guess theres a little happy left in my manic Monday.
Friday, May 6, 2011
Well if you really wanna know.....
I've had alot of my readers asking here lately if I am a sports fan.
Well,
*ahem*
Well,
*ahem*
ROOOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL TIDE!!!!!!!!!!!
*ahem*
*teehee*
I seriously think my boss is a Ninja
My boss is a super cool guy. Love'em ta death and all that "bestest boss ever" mumbo. But anywho....he literally scares the crap outta me!
Example: I am sitting at the desk answering the phone and the next thing I know......
BOSS: Mornin kiddo!!
In his most happy to be at work voice.
Three inches away from my face.
*flippin jose christmas!!*
I turn, completely startled with a jump and manage a "mornin'". Surprised and proud of myself that I didn't yell "Holy ****!!, boss".....just sayin.
How does he just appear out of thin air like that?? Scares the crap outta me. And he does it all the time..............it's like he's a ninja and he just manages a car dealership on the side.
*Note to self:
Don't try and steal soda from cafe. You will get caught.
Don't try and steal soda from cafe. You will get caught.
Don't try and steal soda from cafe. You will get caught.*
Seriously. Super. Stealthy. Ninja.
Example: I am sitting at the desk answering the phone and the next thing I know......
BOSS: Mornin kiddo!!
In his most happy to be at work voice.
Three inches away from my face.
*flippin jose christmas!!*
I turn, completely startled with a jump and manage a "mornin'". Surprised and proud of myself that I didn't yell "Holy ****!!, boss".....just sayin.
How does he just appear out of thin air like that?? Scares the crap outta me. And he does it all the time..............it's like he's a ninja and he just manages a car dealership on the side.
*Note to self:
Don't try and steal soda from cafe. You will get caught.
Don't try and steal soda from cafe. You will get caught.
Don't try and steal soda from cafe. You will get caught.*
Seriously. Super. Stealthy. Ninja.
Thursday, May 5, 2011
No, REALLY lady. I CAN"T help you.
ME:Thank you for calling (OCD) this is Vic. How may I direct your call?
SL: I just wanted to let you know that I just got off the phone with one of your salesmen and he was very rude to me.
ME:(being nosy) Which salesman, ma'am?
SL: Jim.
ME: Ma'am we don't have a salesman by that name..or anything that sounds close to it. Are you sure you needed (OCD).
SL: I'm sure. (getting hateful) Isn't your number 888-888-5555?
ME: Oh, no Ma'am. You do have the wrong place.
SL: Well, don't you sell (type of car)? ( that we Do NOT sell....As the dealership name CLEARLY states)
ME: No ma'am. This is (OCD). *pronounces slowly and efficently*
SL: Well, whatever. Jim was extremely rude and will not answer any more of my calls.
*I can see WHY Jim won't answer*
ME: Ma'am. I am certain that you do not have the right car dealership.
SL: Either you let me talk to him right now or I will call your manager and have you fired.
ME: Ma'am. I'm so sorry, but you have the wrong place.
SL: Whatever. Thanks for your help. *dial tone*
*Ok. First of all, even if you DID have the correct place, you had the wrong person. I'm the receptionist. What am I gonna do? Fire Jim? Whoever Jim is. Secondly, your rudeness toward me will not get you any further than a voicemail to talk to. That is, if you even had the right place. Lastly, all of our phone calls are recorded. I have undeniable proof, lady.*
SL: I just wanted to let you know that I just got off the phone with one of your salesmen and he was very rude to me.
ME:(being nosy) Which salesman, ma'am?
SL: Jim.
ME: Ma'am we don't have a salesman by that name..or anything that sounds close to it. Are you sure you needed (OCD).
SL: I'm sure. (getting hateful) Isn't your number 888-888-5555?
ME: Oh, no Ma'am. You do have the wrong place.
SL: Well, don't you sell (type of car)? ( that we Do NOT sell....As the dealership name CLEARLY states)
ME: No ma'am. This is (OCD). *pronounces slowly and efficently*
SL: Well, whatever. Jim was extremely rude and will not answer any more of my calls.
*I can see WHY Jim won't answer*
ME: Ma'am. I am certain that you do not have the right car dealership.
SL: Either you let me talk to him right now or I will call your manager and have you fired.
ME: Ma'am. I'm so sorry, but you have the wrong place.
SL: Whatever. Thanks for your help. *dial tone*
*Ok. First of all, even if you DID have the correct place, you had the wrong person. I'm the receptionist. What am I gonna do? Fire Jim? Whoever Jim is. Secondly, your rudeness toward me will not get you any further than a voicemail to talk to. That is, if you even had the right place. Lastly, all of our phone calls are recorded. I have undeniable proof, lady.*
Good call/ Bad call
Bad Call:
ME:Thank you for calling (Overprivileged Car Dealership). This is Vic. How may I direct your call.
BC: Yes, I own a 2010 (color, make and model of car) and it has a light on. I think it's the oil light and I'm not sure what to do about it or how to turn it off. It's a (color, make and model). The oil light is on....
(me trying to interrupt her to transfer her to appropriate person)
ME: Ma'am?...(she keeps talking about problem with car) ma'am?....ma'am?
(continues talking)...........
ME: (after 5 minutes of her talking) Did you need to make an appointment or speak with a service advisor?
BC: Service advisor, I guess they can help me, can't they?
ME: Yes ma'am...one moment. *pushes button*
********
Good Call:
ME: Thank you for calling (OCD), this is Vic. How may I direct your call?
GC: Service advisor please.
ME: One moment. *pushes button*
*Why do people insistently waste their own time by going on and on and on and on with things like this with the receptionist? I understand that sometimes you don't know where you need to be directed to. In such cases, say "My oil light is on. Who should I speak with?" Please don't ramble for five minutes about the COLOR of your car (which makes NO difference anyway). Time waste. Epic Fail. *
ME:Thank you for calling (Overprivileged Car Dealership). This is Vic. How may I direct your call.
BC: Yes, I own a 2010 (color, make and model of car) and it has a light on. I think it's the oil light and I'm not sure what to do about it or how to turn it off. It's a (color, make and model). The oil light is on....
(me trying to interrupt her to transfer her to appropriate person)
ME: Ma'am?...(she keeps talking about problem with car) ma'am?....ma'am?
(continues talking)...........
ME: (after 5 minutes of her talking) Did you need to make an appointment or speak with a service advisor?
BC: Service advisor, I guess they can help me, can't they?
ME: Yes ma'am...one moment. *pushes button*
********
Good Call:
ME: Thank you for calling (OCD), this is Vic. How may I direct your call?
GC: Service advisor please.
ME: One moment. *pushes button*
*Why do people insistently waste their own time by going on and on and on and on with things like this with the receptionist? I understand that sometimes you don't know where you need to be directed to. In such cases, say "My oil light is on. Who should I speak with?" Please don't ramble for five minutes about the COLOR of your car (which makes NO difference anyway). Time waste. Epic Fail. *
Serious (no, really) question of the day.
Howcome the salesmen and service advisors get to take vacation at the same times as other people (which is not allowed for coverage issues) AND on the day of our stupidly dumb lecture that we have to travel an hour and a half for (one way)..........but I still have to go to the lecture and I cannot take vacation? I am only a receptionist. I have nothing to do with sales. AT ALL. Seriously? Anyone??
Also, why do we keep allowing people to bring in their pets if we are going to get mad about poop on the floor. Really.................................
Also, why do we keep allowing people to bring in their pets if we are going to get mad about poop on the floor. Really.................................
And The Most Caring Customer of the Day Award goes to...........
I live very close to where the F5 tornado hit in Alabama. Unfortunately, it has directly affected a co-worker of mine, who lost a family member in the storm. This co-worker has been on leave (for obvious reasons). I hate giving away people's personal information....especially very private information like that but today I thought it necessary.
MEAN GUY: Yes, I'm calling to speak with "C".
ME: Sir, he is temporarily on leave. I don't know when he is scheduled to be back. Would you like to leave a voicemail?
MG: Well, that's awfully convenient. I suppose he's taken a vacation and just ignored MY calls.
ME: *trying VERY hard to control my temper* Sir, he has had a family member tragically pass away. That's why he is out. Would you like to leave him a voicemail? I'm sure he will return your call as soon as he comes back to work.
MG: Oh, so now HIS supposed tragedy is more important than my car issues?!
*First of all, sir, your car issues mean nothing to me in comparison to a person losing their life. Secondly, you are the most hateful and self-centered being I have ever met. And on another note, I think I will just delete all your voicemail's from "C"'s mailbox just because you are a complete jerk to everyone around you. I will have done this dealership a service by removing your business from here. Yeah, go ahead. Make the receptionist mad. I control where your phone call and voicemail goes.........JERK *
MEAN GUY: Yes, I'm calling to speak with "C".
ME: Sir, he is temporarily on leave. I don't know when he is scheduled to be back. Would you like to leave a voicemail?
MG: Well, that's awfully convenient. I suppose he's taken a vacation and just ignored MY calls.
ME: *trying VERY hard to control my temper* Sir, he has had a family member tragically pass away. That's why he is out. Would you like to leave him a voicemail? I'm sure he will return your call as soon as he comes back to work.
MG: Oh, so now HIS supposed tragedy is more important than my car issues?!
*First of all, sir, your car issues mean nothing to me in comparison to a person losing their life. Secondly, you are the most hateful and self-centered being I have ever met. And on another note, I think I will just delete all your voicemail's from "C"'s mailbox just because you are a complete jerk to everyone around you. I will have done this dealership a service by removing your business from here. Yeah, go ahead. Make the receptionist mad. I control where your phone call and voicemail goes.........JERK *
I hate phone week............and this is why
- I am stuck at the desk ALL day long
- I cannot even leave to go pee unless I have someone relieve me (at times it is hard to find that person)
- I am the first person the rude/obnoxious/mean/crazy/stupid/overprivileged people talk to. So I have to root through the 45 minute phone conversation to find out where they need to be directed to.
- I am front and center for every "where is your restroom located?"
- I have to pee....again. Where is "E"?
- The salesmen (as much as I love them) never answer my phone calls when I need them to and spend 20 minutes crowding my desk and talking to me while I am trying to answer the phones when I don't need them.
- Service advisors yell at me because they receive phone calls......yes, really.
- I get blamed for stuff that isn't my fault. I.E. the T.V. not working, weather outside, general status of peoples hair............
OK. I've tortured you enough. For now. But yes, it really is that bad. Don't believe me? Ask a receptionist.
Wisdom teeth......Not so smart
Dear God,
I normally do not ask why. But in this instance I must out of common curiosity. Why do we have wisdom teeth? I mean, the full set before the wisdom teeth reared their ugly heads was fine. Plus, they are super painful to have taken out. And why do they have to be taken out? Because they obstruct the other teeth and cause pain. So again, Lord, I do ask why. Why? They serve no real purpose anymore. They hurt and cost money. Is there any way you can make them either 1: not painful- or 2: non-existant. Surely, we can come up with something. Or atleast give me an update on why they are necessary.
Thank you Lord, Amen- Vic
I also normally do not complain. But the complaining is not for me. See, my bestie, Van, had her wisdom teethies removed and is now in such ginormous pain and her face is a lil on the "jose flippin christmas big as a basketball" side that she can't go out tonight to the comedy club with me (something which we had been planning.) Boo to the wisdom teeth removal pain! Boo on it all.
Dear Van, please feel better. You will be back in your heels in no time. Love, Vic. ..........stupid wisdom teeth.
I normally do not ask why. But in this instance I must out of common curiosity. Why do we have wisdom teeth? I mean, the full set before the wisdom teeth reared their ugly heads was fine. Plus, they are super painful to have taken out. And why do they have to be taken out? Because they obstruct the other teeth and cause pain. So again, Lord, I do ask why. Why? They serve no real purpose anymore. They hurt and cost money. Is there any way you can make them either 1: not painful- or 2: non-existant. Surely, we can come up with something. Or atleast give me an update on why they are necessary.
Thank you Lord, Amen- Vic
I also normally do not complain. But the complaining is not for me. See, my bestie, Van, had her wisdom teethies removed and is now in such ginormous pain and her face is a lil on the "jose flippin christmas big as a basketball" side that she can't go out tonight to the comedy club with me (something which we had been planning.) Boo to the wisdom teeth removal pain! Boo on it all.
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
for the love of all things holy..............
No, Ma'am, I will not call the fire department to the dealership because your son wants to play on a "real firetruck" while you wait for your oil change.
*Atleast I know that I won't get fired. flippin jose christmas.*
*Atleast I know that I won't get fired. flippin jose christmas.*
Dear Customer, Yes, as a matter of fact I DO control the weather.
Dear Customer standing at the dealership across the street,
I apologize for not knowing your voice when you called and not knowing if your appointment is this Thursday or next Friday. I will take the blame for all traffic issues, your "change oil" light being on and the cost of the oil change being too much. Furthermore, I will be glad to contact the government for you and tell them that the taxes on your vehicle were too high and you should recieve some sort of re-imbursement. I will also be sure to pass along that you are angry because we didn't make your smoothie "as good as the time before" last time you were in here and that is why you are currently across the street looking at different vehicles. I will mention that the bathrooms across the street are "prettier" and that the saleman you are currently working with is "more in tune with your sense of well-being". Lastly, I will be sure to take all blame for your hair getting "messed up" while you were at our lot because of "the building placement in conjuction with the direction the wind was blowing."
Sincerely, The Underpaid Receptionist
c/o The Overprivileged Office
I apologize for not knowing your voice when you called and not knowing if your appointment is this Thursday or next Friday. I will take the blame for all traffic issues, your "change oil" light being on and the cost of the oil change being too much. Furthermore, I will be glad to contact the government for you and tell them that the taxes on your vehicle were too high and you should recieve some sort of re-imbursement. I will also be sure to pass along that you are angry because we didn't make your smoothie "as good as the time before" last time you were in here and that is why you are currently across the street looking at different vehicles. I will mention that the bathrooms across the street are "prettier" and that the saleman you are currently working with is "more in tune with your sense of well-being". Lastly, I will be sure to take all blame for your hair getting "messed up" while you were at our lot because of "the building placement in conjuction with the direction the wind was blowing."
Sincerely, The Underpaid Receptionist
c/o The Overprivileged Office
Salesmen have it worst of all
They work every Saturday/outside/in any weather
They put up with Ginormous loads of crap from bosses/customers/other employees
They work purely off commission
They are super nice to the receptionist girls even though we have to transfer rude customer calls to them
They have a great attitude amidst it all
They put up with Ginormous loads of crap.........needed to really make you understand that one
aannnnd......Ginormous loads of crap. Period.
All hail the nice salesmen. The girls at reception love you dearly.
They put up with Ginormous loads of crap from bosses/customers/other employees
They work purely off commission
They are super nice to the receptionist girls even though we have to transfer rude customer calls to them
They have a great attitude amidst it all
They put up with Ginormous loads of crap.........needed to really make you understand that one
aannnnd......Ginormous loads of crap. Period.
All hail the nice salesmen. The girls at reception love you dearly.
Customer Conversation of the Day.......
Overheard in lounge area:
LADY1(speaking to other lady-both in tennis suits): You know, I just don't know why he wont just buy me another car. I mean it's clear that I need two. One for tennis and one for just around the house to do grocery shopping.
LADY2: What car do you take to work?
LADY1: Oh, I don't work. My husband does.
*so clearly you need two cars for all the grocery shopping and tennis in your hectic lifestyle*
LADY1(speaking to other lady-both in tennis suits): You know, I just don't know why he wont just buy me another car. I mean it's clear that I need two. One for tennis and one for just around the house to do grocery shopping.
LADY2: What car do you take to work?
LADY1: Oh, I don't work. My husband does.
*so clearly you need two cars for all the grocery shopping and tennis in your hectic lifestyle*
Tuesday, May 3, 2011
Best smoke break EVER
*several co-workers and myself standing in back on a smoke-break and we notice the cigarette butt container is steadily increasing in the amount of smoke coming out of the top.*
B: The thing is on fire.
L: What thing?
ME: The Butt Hole thing. (immediately regretting my choice of words)
B: (hysterically laughing) *points to butt hole thing*
L: Oh. (hysterically laughing) The butt hole is on fire. We gotta put it out. (still laughing)
Me: I'll go get some water. (hysterically laughing at L)
B: Take the lid off and I'll pour some water in.
L: Can't. (begins laughter again) The butt hole is too hot too touch. *Pours water down top opening, putting out fire*
ME: *Glances around corner and realizes that a group of service advisors have heard conversation but don't realize what we are actually talking about*
*Service advisors walk by while glancing awkwardly.*
*BEST smoke break EVER*
B: The thing is on fire.
L: What thing?
ME: The Butt Hole thing. (immediately regretting my choice of words)
B: (hysterically laughing) *points to butt hole thing*
L: Oh. (hysterically laughing) The butt hole is on fire. We gotta put it out. (still laughing)
Me: I'll go get some water. (hysterically laughing at L)
B: Take the lid off and I'll pour some water in.
L: Can't. (begins laughter again) The butt hole is too hot too touch. *Pours water down top opening, putting out fire*
ME: *Glances around corner and realizes that a group of service advisors have heard conversation but don't realize what we are actually talking about*
*Service advisors walk by while glancing awkwardly.*
*BEST smoke break EVER*
Happy motherflippin Tuesday
Ok. It's phone week this week which means I get to answer all the phone calls, greet people when they walk in the door and do all the question answering my mind can handle.
*sigh*
So, to start Tuesday off appropriately, my first coffee goes down and I answer the phone as it rings.
ME: Thank you for calling (overprivileged car dealership), this is Vic. How may I direct your call?
HYSTERICAL: Is my car ready yet?
ME: I'm not sure ma'am. I'll have to transfer you to your service advisor. Who did you leave your car with today?
H: I don't know. Maybe that little girl who put me in the loaner car.
ME: No ma'am that wouldn't have been her. She only handles loaner cars. Who did you speak to when you dropped your car off?
H: I don't know!
ME: Ok ma'am. What's your name and I'll try and find out for you.
H: Can't you just tell me?
ME: No ma'am. Unfortunately, I don't have access to customers personal information. I'll be able to find out who your advisor is if you can give me your name.
H: I don't want to give any personal information to you. I want to talk to who I spoke with this morning.
*somebody beer me*
ME: Ma'am I can handle that for you, but I'll either need your name so I can look up who your advisor is or the advisors name.
H: Oh, you are being so difficult. I just want to know if my car is ready.
ME: Ma'am I have to have the necessary information to find out who your advisor is so I can transfer you to your advisor and he/she can tell you if your car is ready.
H: Listen, little lady, I don't have to put up with you. I just want to be transferred to my advisor.
ME: Absolutely ma'am. Who is your advisor?
*okay let me just say it is terribly hard not to lose my job over these people. Problem is, they see nothing wrong with this behavior. I am so seriously way grossly underpaid. WAY.*
H: Well you are supposed to be finding that out.
*beer me again...I'm already done with that first one.*
ME: Absolutely ma'am. But I have to know what your name is.
H: Oh, why didn't you just say so? It's Ms. White.
......................internally: sonofamotherflippin jose flippin christmas what a beeeeotch *as I crush the phone with a baseball bat*
......................outwardly: ME: Yes ma'am. Hold on one second while I look that up for you.
Oh and by the way, by this point, I have 14 calls waiting in line at one time because I couldn't get her off the phone. Happy flippin Tuesday, everyone. Happy motherflippin Tuesday.
*sigh*
So, to start Tuesday off appropriately, my first coffee goes down and I answer the phone as it rings.
ME: Thank you for calling (overprivileged car dealership), this is Vic. How may I direct your call?
HYSTERICAL: Is my car ready yet?
ME: I'm not sure ma'am. I'll have to transfer you to your service advisor. Who did you leave your car with today?
H: I don't know. Maybe that little girl who put me in the loaner car.
ME: No ma'am that wouldn't have been her. She only handles loaner cars. Who did you speak to when you dropped your car off?
H: I don't know!
ME: Ok ma'am. What's your name and I'll try and find out for you.
H: Can't you just tell me?
ME: No ma'am. Unfortunately, I don't have access to customers personal information. I'll be able to find out who your advisor is if you can give me your name.
H: I don't want to give any personal information to you. I want to talk to who I spoke with this morning.
*somebody beer me*
ME: Ma'am I can handle that for you, but I'll either need your name so I can look up who your advisor is or the advisors name.
H: Oh, you are being so difficult. I just want to know if my car is ready.
ME: Ma'am I have to have the necessary information to find out who your advisor is so I can transfer you to your advisor and he/she can tell you if your car is ready.
H: Listen, little lady, I don't have to put up with you. I just want to be transferred to my advisor.
ME: Absolutely ma'am. Who is your advisor?
*okay let me just say it is terribly hard not to lose my job over these people. Problem is, they see nothing wrong with this behavior. I am so seriously way grossly underpaid. WAY.*
H: Well you are supposed to be finding that out.
*beer me again...I'm already done with that first one.*
ME: Absolutely ma'am. But I have to know what your name is.
H: Oh, why didn't you just say so? It's Ms. White.
......................internally: sonofamotherflippin jose flippin christmas what a beeeeotch *as I crush the phone with a baseball bat*
......................outwardly: ME: Yes ma'am. Hold on one second while I look that up for you.
Oh and by the way, by this point, I have 14 calls waiting in line at one time because I couldn't get her off the phone. Happy flippin Tuesday, everyone. Happy motherflippin Tuesday.
Monday, May 2, 2011
Classy Bunch.....
Spotted while walking past Cafe:
A lady in a lime green jumpsuit stuffing crackers and chips into her purse while "E" made a free smoothie for her.
*in addition to free loaner cars, they also get free snacks, sodas, smoothies......like I said. Overprivileged. Because they come to expect such things instead of being grateful. But anywho, You mean to tell me you'll pay upwards of 60,000 dollars for a car but stuff your purse with a whole bunch of free 50 cents a piece cracker packs?*
Classy, ma'am. Super classy.
A lady in a lime green jumpsuit stuffing crackers and chips into her purse while "E" made a free smoothie for her.
*in addition to free loaner cars, they also get free snacks, sodas, smoothies......like I said. Overprivileged. Because they come to expect such things instead of being grateful. But anywho, You mean to tell me you'll pay upwards of 60,000 dollars for a car but stuff your purse with a whole bunch of free 50 cents a piece cracker packs?*
Classy, ma'am. Super classy.
Loaner Car Rage
*While working in loaner cars. I walk the gentleman out to his SUV type car that he has requested.*
*May I also make a note that whenever one of our customers brings their car in for service they recieve a loaner car for FREE. They do not pay for it. It's absolutely free. And we put out about 40-60 loaners a day. That I have to go get, line up in the garage (several times a day in any weather) and put people in.*
MR. Exterior: Thank you for getting me the car I wanted.
ME: (Glad to see a thankful person- which is VERY rare.) It's no problem sir.
*I walk around vehicle, checking for damage. There is none. I hand him the key*
MR. Exterior: Oh, Do you have a WHITE one? I don't like silver.
*sigh*
*somebody beer me*
Let me say, that this is 1: a FREE service. 2. You will be in this car for one day- tops. 3. Now I have to go back out in the rain and search the entire parking lot with the beeper keys to locate a white SUV. Your Welcome.
So, I stick ten SUV smart keys in my pocket and go a-hunting. After ten minutes in the rain I am able to pull one up that is white.
MR. Exterior: I'm in kind of a hurry, so can we speed up the paperwork?
*internal violent fit of rage induced screaming and throwing things directly at his head.........outward smile*
ME: Sure can, sir.
*No matter what they say, they can't say I don't give great customer service.*
*May I also make a note that whenever one of our customers brings their car in for service they recieve a loaner car for FREE. They do not pay for it. It's absolutely free. And we put out about 40-60 loaners a day. That I have to go get, line up in the garage (several times a day in any weather) and put people in.*
MR. Exterior: Thank you for getting me the car I wanted.
ME: (Glad to see a thankful person- which is VERY rare.) It's no problem sir.
*I walk around vehicle, checking for damage. There is none. I hand him the key*
MR. Exterior: Oh, Do you have a WHITE one? I don't like silver.
*sigh*
*somebody beer me*
Let me say, that this is 1: a FREE service. 2. You will be in this car for one day- tops. 3. Now I have to go back out in the rain and search the entire parking lot with the beeper keys to locate a white SUV. Your Welcome.
So, I stick ten SUV smart keys in my pocket and go a-hunting. After ten minutes in the rain I am able to pull one up that is white.
MR. Exterior: I'm in kind of a hurry, so can we speed up the paperwork?
*internal violent fit of rage induced screaming and throwing things directly at his head.........outward smile*
ME: Sure can, sir.
*No matter what they say, they can't say I don't give great customer service.*
background info:
Ok, so maybe I should have published this before I put the first post up.
I am a receptionist /loaner car rep/ cafe girl at a busy, high volume calls, car dealership for the extremely overprivileged person. (for which I am grossly underpaid....but no matter). I get crazy requests, mean, obnoxious people who feel they are better than a simple receptionist, people who yell at the first person they talk to (yeah, that'd be me) and a slew of people who are seemingly incapable of comprehending any information they recieve. And it gets crazy here. Badly. So this is my frustration venting page. Kind of. Mostly for your entertainment. And please, don't try any of this with your receptionist. She will blog about you forever.
I am a receptionist /loaner car rep/ cafe girl at a busy, high volume calls, car dealership for the extremely overprivileged person. (for which I am grossly underpaid....but no matter). I get crazy requests, mean, obnoxious people who feel they are better than a simple receptionist, people who yell at the first person they talk to (yeah, that'd be me) and a slew of people who are seemingly incapable of comprehending any information they recieve. And it gets crazy here. Badly. So this is my frustration venting page. Kind of. Mostly for your entertainment. And please, don't try any of this with your receptionist. She will blog about you forever.
How may I DIRECT your call?
Me: Thank you for calling......how may I direct your call?
*please note the 'direct your call' part. I love it when people ignore that part and begin talking about their car issues that I have NO IDEA how to fix*
LADY: Um, yes, I have this warranty that I purchased for 2,000 dollars and it says it covers scratches, dings, paint problems, interior issues...........
*I tuned it out because at this point I already know that I'm going to have to send her to a service advisor.*
LADY: ........... So, anyway I just needed to ask somebody what it covers.
*huh??*
ME: You need to know what your warranty covers?
LADY: Yes, I know what it says it covers, but I need to know what it covers.
ME: Yes ma'am. Let me direct you to a service advisor.
LADY: No. I just want you to tell me.
ME: Ma'am, unfortunately I do not know that information. If you like, I can direct you to a service advisor who can give you all the information you need about your warranty.
LADY: No, I'd rather you tell me.
*so it's going to be one of those days, is it?*
*please note the 'direct your call' part. I love it when people ignore that part and begin talking about their car issues that I have NO IDEA how to fix*
LADY: Um, yes, I have this warranty that I purchased for 2,000 dollars and it says it covers scratches, dings, paint problems, interior issues...........
*I tuned it out because at this point I already know that I'm going to have to send her to a service advisor.*
LADY: ........... So, anyway I just needed to ask somebody what it covers.
*huh??*
ME: You need to know what your warranty covers?
LADY: Yes, I know what it says it covers, but I need to know what it covers.
ME: Yes ma'am. Let me direct you to a service advisor.
LADY: No. I just want you to tell me.
ME: Ma'am, unfortunately I do not know that information. If you like, I can direct you to a service advisor who can give you all the information you need about your warranty.
LADY: No, I'd rather you tell me.
*so it's going to be one of those days, is it?*
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