Dear____________,

Dear Service Advisor,
                                   If you walk by me one more time and pull out your wedgie, scratch your butt or pick your nose then I swear I am going to yell at you. For the love of all things holy, man. That is just flippin nasty. You're like 40. I feel like this shouldn't even have to be a topic of conversation. J. F. Christmas.
                                                                   *beer me*
                        -The Underpaid Receptionist
                        c/o The Overprivileged Office