ME: Can I get you a drink ma'am?
L: No. But I will take a coffee.
*huh?*
....ten minutes later
L: Do you have any crackers?
ME: Yes ma'am. What kind would you like?
L: Oh, I don't care. Just any old kind.
*I hand her cheese crackers*
L: I thought I said I wanted peanut butter crackers.
*I start looking around for a group of laughing employees because surely this is a joke.....no employees*
ME: Ma'am is there anything else I can get you? *cause I'm about to "go to the restroom" to avoid your mean, crazy butt.*
L: Oh, no thank you.
ME: *actually said aloud.* Sweet. I'll be back in a few minutes. *after you leave.*
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