Dear________,

Dear Customer in the lobby,
                                            Sure, feel free to yell at me anytime. I don't have emotions, stress or life issues to deal with at all. I am sorry that you did not have an appointment scheduled like you asked them to do last month...when you also told them you would give them a CALL BACK. *ahem*
     I will take the blame for the appointment people not being able to telepathically send you "how to book an appointment" information. I will be glad to "run and tell them what a crappy job they are doing" and I'm sure they'll hop right on "getting better" at their jobs.....cause everybody knows they just sit on their butts, right? Also, stop smacking your gum. I feel like I am supposed to be in an episode of "Saved by the Bell" with all your Tiffany-Amber Theissen parallels.
     I am your wonderful loaner car representative as well. I am super excited I will get to see you again before my day is over. Is there anything you need to tell me now, so that I may write it down, lest I forget? Now, Have a nice day and get in your loaner car and get the eff outta here.
                                       Thank you-
                                            The Underpaid Receptionist
                                           c/o The Overprivileged Office